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‘More Questions than Answers’ bemoans Private English Tutor

February 10, 2014
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Thoughts From The Corner

This Private English Tutor may wander and meander down memories lane, with a hint of philosophical reminiscing and and chuntering in the next few lines but please bear (bare?) with me.

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I blame it on Lord Alfred Tennyson (1809-1892). My well-thumbed quotation book claims he wrote the following: in In Memorian:

So many worlds, so much to do,

So little done, such things to be.

After I had read it through several times, my mind was like ripples after the pebble is thrown in a pond. You know the feeling, don’t you? The more you read something the less you can grasp it – ever tried eating soup with chop sticks or spaghetti with a knife? Yes, that kind of feeling.

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Perhaps he should have used a knife. . .

Sitting here writing this, I feel as I have entered another world – a very private world. When I click to ‘Publish’, I am not sure when that door opens if I enter your world or whether you step over the thresh hold and enter mine.

Throughout my life, it seems as if I’ve taken part in many worlds. An obvious one is my day job as a private tutor. Initially, it’s me preparing the lesson and then I open the door and let the student in; a small world takes over that consists of just the two of us. Contained and intense – a batting backwards and forwards of knowledge. Then I leave the room and enter the cold, rainy night air; alone in my own world again.

Have you ever tried to write a novel? I have. 78,000 words; ten months alone in my own world. Not strictly true of course, it is inhabited by my created characters. Are they in my world or am I in theirs? How weird is that? I’ve just completed my first edit [yes, a second one awaits! :-(] Suddenly, I’ve left the world of creating and entered one of nit-picking. The story has veered off the track of a narrative world and entered one of a jumbled mass of words. The new world seems to be one of fog!

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A second edit awaits :-(

‘So much to do, so little done, such things to be.’ Says Mr Tennyson.

How right he is.

Those words seem so applicable to my life. What about you? My ‘To Do’ list never seems to finish. If it was all done, what would I do with my life? Would I want it any other way? Is it the list that makes getting up in the morning worthwhile? Oh dear, so many questions without answers.

‘So little done.’ Is that how we feel throughout our life? Are we always at the point where we feel that we haven’t quite reached our full potential? Are we always looking ahead to the next project to gallop on to? If so, there is no end, we are always wondering about ‘such things to be’.

‘Such things to be.’ What do we want to be?  Do we want to be rich, happy, healthy, successful? Do we want to take the plunge and leap off the hamster wheel? Do we want to see our novel published?

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Go on! Get off the wheel.
You know you want to!

You bet we do! Then what? How about it being a best seller. Then what? How about the second one being more successful than the first? Then what?

Oh dear, all these questions have given this private tutor a headache. . .

headache

Too many questions OR is it too much whiskey?

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9 Comments
  1. I know the feeling ET! But just a couple of semi-serious observations.Don’t you think that if we ever achieved our potential we’d just fossilise? Don’t think we’re hard wired to achieve potential – isn’t that why it’s called potential? But of more import to me is the feeling that sometimes we’re so focussed on the future – deadlines, timescales, no. of words, getting published etc etc that we overlook and forget to enjoy the immediate pleasures of the moment? I guess it’s all about getting the balance right and setting ourselves, stretching, challenging but with the teensy bit of a possibility of achieving, goals. I’ve no doubt you’ll get where you want to be in the end and then find you want to be somewhere else. :) :) Have a good week

  2. Billie permalink

    I need to put writing a to do list on my list of things to do :D

  3. Woa so many questions! Maybe some of them can go into the sequel to your novel? :-D I’m sure all the editing will be worth it, just think of when you hold your book in your hands!
    In the meantime I’ve given up on to-do lists. If something is really urgent, someone will remind me about it. Muahaha.

    • Sequel! That means this one needs finishing first.

      Yes, I guess that will be an achievement. It’s certainly a mountain to climb getting there. I probably wouldn’t have it any other way. :-)

      The dog lets me know when she’s hungry so perhaps I should scrap the lists. Must put ‘Scrap To Do list’ on the To Do list. . .

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