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Sshhh! ‘Don’t tell WordPress Police!’ Screams Private Tutor

September 4, 2013

"private tutor"

‘Sshhh! Private Tutor has a secret to tell.

‘Come closer. . .

‘No, no, closer. This is a BIG secret.’

"private english tuition stoke on trent"

Sshhh! It’s a secret!

It had to happen.

In my last post I passed on the Versatile Blogger Award (VBA), bemoaned the fact I hadn’t received Blog of the Year 2013 (actually, I even wondered if Billie in Ireland was holding on to it – She loudly protested her innocence) and broke the rules of passing on the VBA award.

All was well and good for a few days when suddenly, as if in a puff of ethernet, I was in receipt of stolen goods i.e. Blog of the Year 2013.

Saucy Gander sent me this comment: “I said I would, and it is here, the Blog of the Year 2013 award created just for you:” My good friend Saucy (blogger of wonder recipes [I mean WONDERFUL], lovely anecdotes and great photographs) seems to have broken the rules and made up the award herself. Does that make me a receiver of stolen goods and by passing it on does that make me a fence?

"sociology tutor stoke on trent"

Am I a fence?

Will the WordPress Police come sliding down on ropes from helicopters, crash through my skylight, throw stun grenades, pick me out with night-vision green goggles and put one of those little red dots on me from their guns?

WordPress Police

The award came with only rule:

1. tell us about about the most unlikely story you have ever told.

I will supplement that one with the following:

2. Announce your win with a post and thank the blogger who nominated you

3. Display the Award Certificate on your blog – and link that image back to your nominator (that helps those who care about Search Engine Optimization – SEO)

4. Present 3 (Yes, three!) deserving bloggers with the award.

This rare (‘as rocking horse turds’ some may say) award is not to be spread about the WordPress blogging bubble willy-nilly. Oh no, thisΒ  prestigious piece of virtual silverware must be appropriately apportioned in order to maintain its present kudos.

5. Link your nominees in the post and let them know of their nomination with a comment.

As a bender/breaker of rules I will immediately upset the the apple cart here by telling not a story but rather a small anecdote. It is, nonetheless, unlikely.

Unlikely Story

Unlikely Story

I am sure that you all have close relationships with a small circle of bloggers within your whole following. There are those that you exchange more comments with. In that respect, the virtual world is no different than the world outside your window. There are those you get on better with than others i.e. friends rather than acquaintances. To that end there is one blogger (writeonthebeach) that happens to be my friend rather than acquaintance.

I am about to complete the the first draft of my novel which I have been working on since last November. Since I first announced it to the unsuspecting world several months ago, it has cropped up in comments with writeonthebeach (a writer herself) and I always refer to it as ‘my best selling novel’.

That’s it. That’s my ‘most unlikely story’. In today’s economically depressed world with publishers only (with the odd exception) taking on established authors who they know will sell, my chances of writing a ‘best selling novel’ is, as they say, ‘rare as a rocking horse turd’.

Can you see any turds? Told you they were rare. πŸ™‚

Nominees

There will only be three nominees. You are the keepers of something that there is only one of at this moment in time. You are under no obligation to pass it on but if you don’t it will die out. – so no pressure. πŸ™‚ In that case the value of mine, as the only one, will fetch a small fortune on that well known auction site but a prize like this is something to be earned not brought.

I will pass it on to bloggers that I have never passed an award on to previously. In fact, I will break the rules somewhat by awarding it to three bloggers I have had virtually no contact with. So, without more ado and an appropriate drum roll, they are:

1. Jennifer Paetsch – My latest follower, only a few hours ago. Who knows, she could become a friend rather than an acquaintance in the future.

2. Granny Reports – Again a recent follower. So far I have enjoyed what I have seen and anyone that is audited by the IRS (the tax man) deserves all the awards they can get.

3. Me – Who am I? A recent follower whose blog I have found to be very interesting so far.

All that remains is for this private tutor to put on his orange jumpsuit and await the WordPress Police for blindfolded transportation to an appropriate Caribbean island, for a vacation of an undetermined length of stay.

prisoner

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12 Comments
  1. Billie permalink

    Would it be bad if I would ask you to please show a picture of you in that orange jump suit? πŸ˜€

    As always a great read, and thank you for mentioning me! I would have loved pass on the Versatile award but it seems to be as elusive to me as it is to you! πŸ˜€

  2. Oh…thanks a lot. Strains of Michael Jackson’s “Bad Criminal” is racing through my head…can’t get it out! You certainly deserve the award! You know that I am a big fan. Also, two of the nominees have been followers of mine for quite some time…Granny and Who am I are awesome bloggers…enjoy your new friends!

    • Thank you for the great comment.

      I am sure I received your two friends via the post you put on about me. Thank you very much.

      • I’m glad to hear that!

      • Also, I received the book you recommended – how did I ever write without it. No wonder my novel isn’t a best seller yet – although it would help if it was published. . . πŸ™‚

      • I know I keep the book by my side (it’s on my Kindle) and I would be lost without it! Glad you liked it! And, I have no doubt that book will be published and I’ll be standing in line when it is!

  3. Thank you so much! I am enjoying your blog so far. I don’t write much these days because I’m too busy reading…lol…but that’s really the fun part for me. Keep up the great posts!

  4. I have never heard of the term ‘fence’, or rare as rocking horse turd (only rare as hen’s teeth), you learn something new everyday.
    When your novel becomes a best seller, I’ll remind you of this unlikely anecdote! πŸ™‚

  5. Congratulations on the award. You deserve it! Also, thank you very much for sharing this great honor with me. That truly made my day. I will be sure to pass it on. Thank you again!

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