‘More Questions than Answers’ bemoans Private English Tutor
This Private English Tutor may wander and meander down memories lane, with a hint of philosophical reminiscing and and chuntering in the next few lines but please bear (bare?) with me.
I blame it on Lord Alfred Tennyson (1809-1892). My well-thumbed quotation book claims he wrote the following: in In Memorian:
So many worlds, so much to do,
So little done, such things to be.
After I had read it through several times, my mind was like ripples after the pebble is thrown in a pond. You know the feeling, don’t you? The more you read something the less you can grasp it – ever tried eating soup with chop sticks or spaghetti with a knife? Yes, that kind of feeling.
Sitting here writing this, I feel as I have entered another world – a very private world. When I click to ‘Publish’, I am not sure when that door opens if I enter your world or whether you step over the thresh hold and enter mine.
Throughout my life, it seems as if I’ve taken part in many worlds. An obvious one is my day job as a private tutor. Initially, it’s me preparing the lesson and then I open the door and let the student in; a small world takes over that consists of just the two of us. Contained and intense – a batting backwards and forwards of knowledge. Then I leave the room and enter the cold, rainy night air; alone in my own world again.
Have you ever tried to write a novel? I have. 78,000 words; ten months alone in my own world. Not strictly true of course, it is inhabited by my created characters. Are they in my world or am I in theirs? How weird is that? I’ve just completed my first edit [yes, a second one awaits! :-(] Suddenly, I’ve left the world of creating and entered one of nit-picking. The story has veered off the track of a narrative world and entered one of a jumbled mass of words. The new world seems to be one of fog!
‘So much to do, so little done, such things to be.’ Says Mr Tennyson.
How right he is.
Those words seem so applicable to my life. What about you? My ‘To Do’ list never seems to finish. If it was all done, what would I do with my life? Would I want it any other way? Is it the list that makes getting up in the morning worthwhile? Oh dear, so many questions without answers.
‘So little done.’ Is that how we feel throughout our life? Are we always at the point where we feel that we haven’t quite reached our full potential? Are we always looking ahead to the next project to gallop on to? If so, there is no end, we are always wondering about ‘such things to be’.
‘Such things to be.’ What do we want to be? Do we want to be rich, happy, healthy, successful? Do we want to take the plunge and leap off the hamster wheel? Do we want to see our novel published?
You bet we do! Then what? How about it being a best seller. Then what? How about the second one being more successful than the first? Then what?
Oh dear, all these questions have given this private tutor a headache. . .
From → Education